All Clear, See You Next Year

Well Australian Hearing services won't be seeing the girls until next year.

Zoë continues to have perfect hearing, the only one of my four children that didn't inherit my bad hearing.

Lily has no change (yay!). She only has a mild loss in one ear, no need for aids for her.

My boys will go for a check up in November, and hopefully both will have no further decline in hearing. Both have a hearing loss in both ears which they wear hearing aids.

Pic is of my girls enjoying the train trip home. :)

Life Goes On

So I decided to pull out of TAFE. I'll just be concentrating on my new (part-time) job, my little business and more importantly, being a SAHM.

I'm disappointed. But on the other hand, relieved. I really enjoyed the last two weeks, interacting with grown ups and using my brain/creativity/skills. But the stress of money, the stress of household chores and the stress of not seeing/being there for my babies just didn't make it worth it.

So now I'll only be out of the house one day per week, my little boy will be in daycare on that day and my big kids won't need to go to before/after school care.

On friday and saturday I contemplated what I was going to do, I kept changing my mind. I'm a 'look for signs' kind of person and on Sunday I had a few. Firstly in The Sunday Times was an article about parents needing to make more time for their kids, to not put so much emphasis on material wealth, to be more involved in their schooling.

Then in the liftout magazine was an article on Free Range kids.

Both articles resonated with me because to be the type of parent I want to be, to type of parent I value, I can't achieve if I'm not at home to be with them. I just can't have my cake and eat it too.

Then the deciding factor was the sermon at church. It was the story of Samson and Delilah, but it was the points made by my Pastor that resonated with me. That our strength can also be our weakness. My Pastor spoke about balance, that we all need balance, and he also spoke about failure.

All this was in relation to the Samson story, but I could see the applications in my life at this moment.

So this morning, I dropped my kids off at school. I spoke to my daughters teacher. I held hands with my son as we strolled to the car. I'm sitting on the lounge, cuddling my youngest son, listening to the rain, while he watches Postman Pat and I type on the laptop.

Life may not have taken the direction I had thought it would (looking back on my dreams and hopes), I may be impatient for it to be 'my time', but on the whole I am happy.

Life

My Sweet Baby Girl

What a hectic fortnight I've had.

I started a TAFE course, started a part-time job, trying to get stock ready for a stall and the kids went back to school.

I really want to do the TAFE course...it's only 18 weeks more to go....but the impact on my kids is already noticeable. My 5 year old threw a tantrum yesterday, she never throws tantrums, and I know it was from overtiredness/early starts/not enough attention from me. My 3 year old gets all whingey (it's not really crying), as we pull into daycare, telling me he doesn't want to go.

My big kids are mostly ok, they are a little older and a little more independent. But the long days do affect them.

The house is rapidly turning into a tip. I have my routines in place, but I'm still doing all the housework, the kids help out, but my husband doesn't. It's not to bad, but I'm finding it hard to keep on top of things.

Then the cost. Daycare/After school care is costing me around $200 per week. I budgeted this in, then had unexpected expenses, and now the budget can't cover the care costs.

So I find myself wondering if it is worth it. I like being busy and active, but I don't like my family life to have such a hectic pace. And although I love the course, I don't really want to work in the field long term. The true cost of the course at this stage is draining.

On one hand I think I know what I need to do, but on the other hand........I really wish I had parents that I could go to and seek advice :(